Divorce in UK

The good news is that overall divorce rates in the UK have decreased recently. The bad news is that there appears to have been a significant leap amongst people in their forties, fifties and even sixties seeking a separation or divorce.

While the reasons for this phenomenon are many and varied, it was interesting to read the other week that British law firms are claiming that one in five cited the social net working site Face book in their divorce petitions last year.

Increasingly reports along the lines of “face book nearly destroyed my marriage” are appearing in newspapers and over the internet.

Social networking

A common assumption is that it’s only younger people who use social networking sites. In fact many middle aged people too are regularly meeting up in cyberspace.

Although social networking sites are a wonderful and easy way of connecting with family, friends, and like minded people, as with most things in life there can be a potentially darker side.

With all this controversy in the news surrounding face book et al and relationship breakup, there seems to be a lot of confusion out there about relationship breakdown.

Real issues.

While social networking sites can contribute to some already existing marital or relationship problems, they can’t be solely responsible for our relationship breakdown.

Relationships never stay the same, they evolve and change over the years, if we address issues as they come up hopefully we develop a much deeper love as the years go by. Unresolved issues such as misunderstandings, bumping up against the same arguments over and over again, jealousy over promotions at work can all lead to resentments and even anger towards our partners or spouses. Instead of enjoying a loving relationship we can often come to see our partner as the enemy!

Social networking sites can become a fantasy land, another way of escaping, and avoiding both our partners and the reality of marital and relationship issues.

It’s not just our relationship issues that we are avoiding either!. Mid forty’s early fifty’s can be a time when we are facing the death of our parents, looking after parents who have become frail or worrying about finances or work. This can trigger a real sense of loss, not just for our parents but for the passing of our childhood and youth.

Reconnecting with old flames or childhood sweethearts takes us back to a place where our memory’s are filled with happy times, we remember the relationship “spark”

Often it isn’t really the person we are attracted to. Remember it didn’t work out the first time and we went on to choose our current partner. It’s that time on our lives we are attracted to, a time when we felt alive and connected.

How marriage or couple counselling can help

With person in four regretting their divorce or separation marriage or couple counselling offers a different and valuable opportunity for couples to put back the relationship “spark” build a healthy and loving relationship together.

Including:

Destructive relationship patterns uncovered and addressed

new ways of being in relationship

Conflict resolution skills

New ways of communicating with each other

Dealing with the impact of loss and change in your relationship

Brown Eyes left this thought provoking comment in the comment section “Many people do not realize how much they are hurting their spouse or the relationship overall, as they don’t see social networking as a problem,….”

Has your relationship been affected by social networking sites?

Do you have a view?

Let me know by leaving a comment